Tuesday evening

Perhaps a bit out of order. But it all adds up nicely.

1. A late afternoon walk just now on the fire trail with my sweet Desie who chased sticks and pinecones and played with other dogs and romped around on her own usually with a too large and cumbersome stick in her mouth and mostly stayed close by and ran ahead and came running back when I called her.

2. A late morning hike at Fort Cronkite with Shanan and Heather and Goose and Desie on Thanksgiving and the fun we had trekking up and then down the hill and all the time watching the dogs doubling back and forth and up and down ahead of us and sometimes off trail and then finding their way back to us.

3. This morning’s yoga-pilates class with my teacher Maryam and all the determination and hard work and bridges and downward facing dogs and how much fun it is after class to talk with my fellow student Jason who is a senior majoring in Landscape Architecture and who plays a game of pick up basketball before our class begins about how hard the class is but oh so good for us.

4. Too much pressure and worry this semester and especially right now because my students are struggling with their work and there are only two weeks left until their portfolios with 15-17 pages of excellent writing are due.

5. Much appreciation for my dear friend Emily for understanding when I told her I was out of sorts because I did not have a book I was in love with [in the middle of a crowd at Berkeley Bowl where she was shopping with her father-in-law on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving] and for delivering within an hour two books that she loved for me to read.

Wednesday morning

Good day list:

Sunday

1. A Strand book bag in brown and green from New York travels
2. Neighborhood walk with Shanan and Goose and Desiree on this particularly lovely afternoon
3. Through the upstairs window goodbyes to Goose Dog
4. Frisee salad with fennel, Caesar Salad and Roasted chicken with bread stuffing at Zuni Cafe
5. Lovely conversations on all accounts

Monday

1. Not Becoming Mother by Ruth Reichl arrives via USPS

Tuesday late morning

Thinking about things:

Goose Dog in colour

A borrowed photo from Shanan

I had to post this photo of sweet sweet GooseDog.

I love this dog.

He is looking straight into the camera.

You can see the love and devotion and a bit of tolerance and impatience in those eyes of his.

He is waiting dutifully for his beloved Shanan to get on with things.

Goose with his everyday allegiance and good manners.

He is a good dog.

Friday morning in Berkeley

Thinking about things:

11 vues de la flèche de la cathédrale by Gerard Michel [not Berkeley]

It's foggy this Friday morning in Berkeley. Goose is asleep in his circle bed by my dresser. He is a good boy. Desie has just finished chewing her bone and is stretched out on her l.l.bean bed that I moved over to the center of my room so she could have a place close to me. [Her circle bed over by the brown chair is empty for the time being.] Desie is quite inconstant about chewing her bone. She seems to discover it anew every once in a while, spend an amount of time working on it, and then push it away. Chewing her bone is not a part of her quotidian endeavors as it was for my dear Isidore. He chewed regularly--perhaps to fend off his worries about things. Desie is napping now, a bit of let up after a eventful Thursday night.

To begin with, Desie was a naughty girl on our walk last evening. In the courtyard at the Clark Kerr campus, she ran off during our off leash training. She had been such a good girl up until then: running back to me on command [and with a determined look and playful gait]. But, as in the past, she became distracted and chose to disregard my call and instead, ate many many many tiny tree berries before I could get to her.

When I did get to her, I insisted on a few moments of reflection: I told Desie [who was in a sit] that she must never never eat berries because they can make her sick. She had a hard time with such principled talk. She would not look at me: a sign of submission of sorts, I know, but too, this is a stubborn girl when it comes to repentance. We walked home with Desie on leash. I was despondent. I worried that the berries could be poisonous. And, Shanan was due at our house in a little while to deliver Goose Dog for the weekend.

When we got home at around 7:00, I fed Desie her usual dinner and she waited close by [in a down] while I prepared my salad. Desie always gets carrots during this salad making time. And she did. But, uncharacteristically, she got up and walked over to me, leaned in a bit, and threw up a massive amount of stuff. On the little rug by the sink. Poor girl. When she was done, she leaned in even more for some comforting. I comforted her.

Only minutes later, after I had hosed down the rug in the driveway, Shanan and Goose arrived. And of course, lots of hugs [people] and pats [people and dogs] and running around in the yard [dogs] for a fine family reunion. Then a brief visit in the living room with talk about Shanan's trip to D.C in the morning, his job, my teaching adventures and Brandon and everyone in Evanston. As for Desie and Goose, to our surprise, lots of rolling around and growling playfully on the rug. Usually, Goose will have nothing to do with Desie. Her attempts to get him to romp with her are steadfastly ignored. [I do hope they will play together a bit over the next few days.] After Shanan left, Goose and Desie and I snuggled for a short while before we headed upstairs for bed.

[A few words for further thinking about things:

I am pleased Goose has his very own circle bed from home for sleeping in at my house. Especially since Shanan, who thinks my notions about dog beds are crazy [good crazy] and wanted not to abide by my request for him to transport Goose's bed to Berkeley for the weekend, remembered to bring his bed over last night. I think it is important that each dog have his/her own home base bed. I am very sure such accommodations provide for much needed security and a hint of dog joy.

Just yesterday afternoon, I mentioned to a dear friend how much I still miss Isidore. I think Izzy is on my mind more so than usual because my dear friends Ina and Ron put down their beloved 12 year old dog Corky on Wednesday. He was a good dog. They loved him very much. I have been talking with them about such difficult to do acts. And remembering how it was with Isidore.

And just now, Desie moved to her circle bed over by the brown chair. And Goose has gone downstairs. I think he is sitting by the window so he can watch for Shanan.]

Wednesday morning

Today is my sweet son Brandon's birthday. Just so you know. I think Stephanie and Skylar and Jordan and Dylan will make an angel food cake for Brandon. With strawberries on top.

Brandon

Yesterday, my sweet son Shanan launched his first app Chatmapr. It is a way to share locations with close friends and is now available on iTunes. Take a look!

chatmapr logo

[whose feet are these, I wonder]

A list of things to do today:

1. Go to the gym. [read The Invisible Bridge]
2. Straighten up the house for my new Salon class which begins tonight. [This must include vacuuming because Desie is shedding and shedding and shedding. Oh dear me. I should wait until late afternoon to do this. Just in case.]
3. Prepare materials for class: Delp, Bakhtin, Alexie, Jefferson [and maybe Rosenblatt] articles and chart and folders for keeping everyone's writing and lined paper for writing and notemaking.
4. Organize all the papers on my desk in my study
5. Organize all the papers on my desk in my bedroom
6. Organize all the papers on my bench in my bedroom
7. Take Desie for a nice walk in afternoon
8. Call Brandon to wish him HB.
9. Talk to Shanan about his first app Chatmapr that is now available on iTunes.

Tuesday morning

Looking back at The New Yorker covers.

These two covers are from the magazines that were issued during the weeks my sweet sons Brandon and Shanan were born. I think they are beautiful. The New Yorker Rebound.

April 1973

Brandon was born on April 20th 1973.

This first cover makes me happy. It is filled with horizontality and joy. Rows and rows of buildings stacked up upon each other. Rows of buildings leaning on each other for comfort. So many windows for looking out and looking in. And then there are the green green trees that live among the buildings and look, from afar, like lace adornments dispersed every so carefully by a thoughtful one. Looking like honeycomb [apartments]. Lots of opportunities.

Brandon from the moment he was born. A placid and content observer. Brandon pondered how everything in his world worked. Aways watching and trying to understand. A content little boy who purposefully dropped cheerios on the floor while he leaned over his highchair tray to watch them fall and squeaked with joy when we counted how many he had dropped. A curious little boy who liked to watch the worker bees that gathered by the flowery hedges in our yard. A little boy who, many times, held bees in his hand bravely so he could study their lives. Always and still loving the science of life.

September 1975

Shanan was born on September 24th 1975.

This second cover makes me happy, too. Horizontality and joy abound here. Lots of sky [mostly sky, in fact] made from quiet sweeps of muted tones: browns and pale pale greens and rusty oranges. The colors of this unthought of sky reflecting back the definitive terms of the russet fields. This beautiful and open sky stands ready, it seems to shout. And a young rider makes his way through the the tall rustic grasses on his bike. Back straight. Eyes forward. Seeming to be fixed on his destination.

Shanan from the beginning. Never sitting still. Needing always to get somewhere. And to figure out these travels on his own terms. First scooting across the floor instead of crawling. Sitting up this way rather than moving about on all fours gave him a taller perspective on things it seems. Then running everywhere, sometimes without taking a hand when he ran/crossed a street. Later, riding AC Transit [with Willie Mae Ellington and then on his own] all over the bay area to authenticate the maps he had consulted. And, when he was still quite young, traveling on BART to the end of the line for making even more maps and charts of his travels. Always traveling still.

Sunday morning

Saturday's remembrances:

Coffee and schoolhouse cookies in the kitchen sometime around noon with my son Shanan; looking over a few photos and a radio program from Shanan's KZSC 88.1 FM days; Goosedog and Desie close by chewing carrots but mostly nudging us to hurry up and take them for a walk; lovely views of the bay on our drive to Tilden by way of Claremont Avenue; a long hike--a loop from and to Gillespie Camp; sunshine and warm warm air; our dogs running ahead on the trail, up and down the embankments, around corners and then back to us when we called them; sometimes conversations about the beauty of it all: lupine and poppies and poison oak and abounding trees; shimmering vistas with layers of greens and browns and blues; Goose and Desie on leash while we stepped aside two times so horses [and their riders] could pass us on the trail; Goose barking and barking at these large creatures; up up a long and steep [and sometimes muddy] hill to a newly restored area where we rinsed our shoes [and Desie's paws] and all of us drank some water; then up a short hill to our car. Muddy dogs [with poison oak perhaps] in the back seat. Bath time for Goose and Desie at home in our yard. 1st draft towel dry by Shanan. Final draft towel dry by me.

Family is good.

Family photo: Shanan and Goose on the trail

2008

Sunday Morning

A list for thinking about things:

1.

My Dog Tulip

J.R.Ackerley

I finished reading My Dog Tulip by J.R. Ackerley [two weeks ago or so]. A gift from my sweet son Shanan. He had read an article about Ackerley in the New Yorker. This book was published in 1965 and seems to have been discovered once again. At least by Shanan and me and my students in my Salon class who read an excerpt last time.

A beautifully written book with lots of long long sentences imbued with precise words that seem to tell a tiny story of their own [of the author, at times] within their boundaries. Complicated [and simple, too] sentences about a dog named Tulip and the man who owns and loves this dog. About affection and concern, determination and compromise, knowledge and understanding.

This book has brought me great joy. And understanding about its author and myself and of course his sweet dog Tulip [and so, my dear Desie]. And how we [some of us] need to look into/research things [in Ackerley's case, how to take good care of his beloved dog] so that we can act [or as Ackerley might have put it, conduct ourselves] in a thoughtful and dignified manner. I love this book. And I admire Ackerley for writing it.

2.

Thinking about books. About how I go about choosing the [next] book I want to read. And fall in love with. How I worry in anticipation. How I read the first pages with caution and concern. How I wait and wait before I decide if I love the book or not; and whether I want to commit myself to its pages filled with words the author has entrusted with me. I am reading a new book now. I want to be in love with it.

3.

From the film My Dog Tulip

Thinking about the film version of the book: Another's interpretation of My Dog Tulip. In this case, an animated film portrayal. Actually, this film is made up of many people's interpretations. Bakhtin would be happy to see these kinds of transpirations/transpirings. [Transpire: come to be known, 19th century America]

Thursday afternoon

From my sweet son Shanan: a photo image of a Paul Klee painting. A very thoughtful gift for me.

Just so you know, Shanan is on vacation in New York. And, further, as you might expect, I love Paul Klee's boxes of colors.

Wednesday morning

It is a lovely morning. Lots of fierce wind and rain last night. But today, so far, [after a bit of hail at 9:00], sunshine and clouds push against each other for their places in the sky. It is not an argument or a dispute between the two. But rather a discussion--a parley of stances, intentions, vulnerabilities. And there is wind still that bears down on or nudges the duet. Like a celestial mandate offering a judicious aspect to it all. Right now there is mostly sunshine and a blue and grey sky.

I am at my desk with my coffee: making lists and thinking and wondering about things.

Just received this photo of Desie from my sweet son Shanan:

3

Oh my goodness, this sweet girl is silly.

She is staying in S.F. with Shanan and Goose.

And I miss her.

I think she will be back tomorrow.

Monday Morning

Thinking about things.

Saturday was such a lovely day. Blue skies and lots of warm sunshine. Visits with friends and family [and sweet sweet dogs]. A couple of naps between conversations, a nice dinner at the kitchen table with my sweet son Shanan, and a quite a bit of reminiscing about times past--most especially our many walks with Goose and then Goose and Isidore at the beach, on trails all over the bay area and in SF [and sometimes Berkeley] neighborhoods as well. [We looked at flickr photos from 2003 on. These photos just automatically render details of memories of events that need remembering.] Isidore was such a sweetie. He loved his fire trail and leaping up and down hills. He was a happy boy. It was good to spend time remembering. A very nice Saturday spent with my sweet family.

Sunday was quite lovely as well. Lots of warm sunshine and blue blue skies. Visits with dear dear friends [Nancy and Alan [and their sweet dogs] and then Joan] on the porch. And then Luporini. She brought groceries from Berkeley Bowl [mixed berry scones and 2 boxes of school house cookies for special visitors and, of course, lettuce for my salads.] Catching up with Luporini about all things. And even writing a bit. Both of us. [Picture me propped up in my bed with my laptop and Luporini tucked into my brown and white comfortable chair by my bed--wearing my socks, a sweatshirt and covered with a blanket--writing about her times past--in particular when she first worked for the phone company].

Monday is here. Day 4. My recovery is going well. Cloudy skies and wind and rain. No sitting on the porch today. But lots of opportunities for exercising and building strength. [Dr. Chang called this morning to advise: one crutch for support and frequent extension and rotation and isometric exercises for strength.] Visits with dear friends and phone chats with family in the afternoon. And beginning a new book.

Friday Morning

I am home and very happy to be here. I came home late yesterday morning post surgery [which went very very well]. My sweet son Shanan [along with Desie and Goose in the back seat of his car to greet me with lots of kisses and wags] picked me up and brought me home. Once home, Shanan stayed and helped out/took care of me. As for me, lots of naps and tiny snacks and an unexpected visit to Dr. Chang's office to have my bandage repaired/changed. But all went well.

I am very happy.

Today I will rest and rest.

Thursday morning in Berkeley

3/5 of my Evanston Family

[click to view larger image]

1/5 of my Evanston Family

[click to view larger image]

Back home

Sitting at my desk with my coffee and lots of memories from my trip to see my Evanston family.

Images of little girls giggling; art projects; yogurt snacks [with special k, honey and berries for Jordan and apples for Skylar]; reading books [Where the sidewalks Ends and Ming Lo Moves the Mountain, to name just two, and doing math problems [ 2+0 and 4+4, for example]; ichatting with Shanan; solving dog and cat puzzles from Martha; reading a biology book with Dylan [even though he didn't want to talk to me]; "hanging out" with everyone, as they put it; snowflakes falling outside.

And more images of the ride home from the airport with Shanan and Desie and Goose [my Berkeley family] last night.
Lots of hugs and wags and catching up about Brandon and his family.

2/4 of my Berkeley Family [at Crissy Field while I was away]

[click to view larger image]

It is quiet this morning.

Sunshine abounds.
Desie is in her bed--she is a bit confused about my comings and goings and her place here with me.
She is a reserved happy girl on this morning.

Thinking about family.
And how lovely love and affection can be.

An excerpt from one of last year's Valentines

which seems appropriate to put right here.

Friday night at the S.F. Ballet

The Nutcracker was quite wonderful.

Lots of snow. Beautiful ballet dancing. Wonderful music.

Friday morning in Berkeley

View of Yosemite Falls Tail from the meadow

Remembering winter days in the snow.

Our annual December 24th trip to Yosemite with my boys. Mostly we stayed in a tiny cabin by the Merced River with its door that faced Half Dome to the east. Or else, we stayed at the Lodge with its back door that opened up to a tiny forest by the Merced River.

There were our hikes: From Happy Isles to Mirror Lake and then along the meadow. And one year to the top of Yosemite Falls in deep [deep] snow on a demanding switchback trial. I remember how, at one point, when Brandon and Shanan got ahead of me and I couldn't see where they were, I hollered to them and they threw snow balls up in the air to indicate their whereabouts! And one time [during a drought], to Glacier Point. [Usually the Four-Mile trail was closed in the winter.] The day was sunny and there was quite a bit of black ice on the upper part of the trail because of the long afternoon shade on the [upper] south side of the valley. These conditions brought about lots of slipping and sliding and laughing [on the part of my boys]. And falling down [on my part]. I remember the next day. It was another sunny day. We went snow shoeing [me with my broken arm in a splint] at Badger Pass. Our leader, a beloved ranger, led us to a location that provided a splendid view of the high country of Yosemite. It was a grand sight. The three of us and the Sierra Nevada Mountains and the blue blue sky.

[And,of course, there was skiing at Badger Pass for Brandon and Shanan and cross country for me on the Glacier Point Road.]

We regularly ended up at the Ahwahnee Hotel [sometime twice a day] for warming up by the giant fire place in the Grand Lounge. And, after dinner at the cafeteria, we watched movies about Yosemite at the Lodge and wandered around in the gift shop to pass time before bedtime.

Grand Lounge at the Ahvanhee Hotel

Thinking about things/memories and how they are remembered.

Sunday September 25th 2010

Still Life with Onions

Paul Cézanne (1895)

A lovely day in San Francisco with my sweet son Shanan and Goose Dog and Desie to celebrate Shanan's birthday:

1. 8:30 arrival at Shanan's [albeit a bit late due to car key problems that have been resolved by retiring old key with [more definitive] new key]
2. coffee [and luna bar for me]; carrots for Goose and Desie
3. 9:30 vist to the deYoung to see Van Gogh, Gauguin, Cézanne, and Beyond: Post-Impressionist Masterpieces from the Musée d’Orsay
4. visit to the Museum Store for cards and postcards and magnets [during which time Shanan showed great patience and understanding]
5. [very sweet] sweets at the deYoung Cafe: chocolate croissant & lemon bar [along with a few sips of coffee]
6. lovely walk [and running around] at the Presidio with Goose and Desie
7. back at Shanan's for traditional angel food cake [that had not been frosted] with dollops of whipped cream and two strawberries on top and a small scoop of Haagen Dazs vanilla ice cream on the side [more carrots for Goose and Desie]
8. brushing Desie's and Goose's teeth with dog flavored toothpaste
9. 1:15 [about] time to go home for me and Desie
10. farewell hugs for all

Upon arrival home:

1. lots of college writing papers to read on a Sunday afternoon in Berkeley
2. a nice talk on the phone with my sweet son Brandon
3. walk with my sweet dog Desie in the late late afternoon

Friday

A list:

1. Desie is feeling better.
2. She is such a sweet girl.
3. We are going to be home most of today cleaning up and doing a bit of reading of logs for CW.
4. My sweet son Brandon is coming tonight.
5. He will stay with my sweet son Shanan in S.F.
6. Tomorrow, Brandon and Shanan are going to to the Cal game: Cal vs UCD.
7. [Just so you know, Brandon went to UCD for undergrad and Berkeley for grad school]
8. I am going to the game with my dear friend Liz: she has season tickets in honor of her husband Herb.
9. Goose will stay with Desie during the game.
10. After the game, Brandon and Shanan and I will have dinner at La Mediterranee.
11. Brandon will stay with me overnight.
12. And then, I will take him to the airport for an early morning flight back to Evanston.

All of this is going to be so wonderful!

Sunday

Today's images:

An early morning visit to the deYoung to see the Birth of Impressionism: Masterpieces from the Musee d'Orsay exhibit with my sweet son Shanan.


A brief stop at the museum store and a lovely gift of rock quartz crystal [for me] from Shanan.

List making for thinking

Here is a list of things I have been doing this past week:

1. Shopping on 4th Street by myself on Sunday and with dear Luporini on Tuesday
2. Buying shoes on Sunday and boots on Tuesday at Rabat [this means two pairs in one week]
3. Teaching on Monday and Wednesday about literature and writing
4. Having acupuncture with dear Amy Matecki on Tuesday morning [so many needles!]
5. Having physical therapy with Craig on Thursday afternoon [stem and ultra sound]
6. Having a yoga class with Jennie [standing positions for balance and strength]
7. Buying coveted flannel pajamas [on sale] at a store on Domingo on Friday [so soft after washing]
8. Talking with my realtor Faye about finding a small house for me
9. Searching for a puppy for me all week
10. Riding the lifecycle at RSF once again today [after a week off for resting my hip and knee]
11. Reading my students' logs about "writing with one's authority" and "revising with wonderment" at the Cafe
12. Watching Bourne Supremacy the past three nights [I watched Bourne Idenity and Bourne Ultimatum during the previous two weeks. It takes me a few night to watch a whole movie.]
13. Making the background of this blog light light blue [I have been wanting to do this for a while]
14. Talking with friends about finding a puppy for me

[oh my goodness. so so many taking care of myself things on this list]

Here is the list for tomorrow:

1. Meeting Shanan in the early morning in S.F. for a return visit to the de Young to see Birth of Impressionism: Masterpieces from the Musée d’Orsay
2. And then, hopefully, taking Goose Dog on a walk at Land's End.
3. Shopping at Berkeley Bowl for the upcoming week
4. Reading the remaining student logs [still have about 30] about "writing with one's authority" and "revising with wonderment" at the Cafe
5. Taking a late afternoon walk in the neighborhood

Saturday Morning

Just so you know, I will be spending today and tomorrow preparing my lectures and materials for my Literature and Writing class that begins Monday. I will need to read through the literary and theoretical texts I will be teaching and decide on the sequence of lessons and activities for the firsts weeks of class. But at the end of the day, I will have a nice walk with Goose Dog. He is visiting me for the weekend.

This is because my sweet son Shanan showed up for a visit yesterday morning with his dog Goose---and he left him with me for the weekend. [Shanan is very generous, you know. To share his dog with me, even though he would miss him, is what is so remarkable.]

Last evening Goose and I went for a lovely [and spirited] walk over to the trail near top of Derby Street. [It is so so wonderful to take a walk with a dog in the evening light.] I had brought treats for beckoning him and so I let Goose off leash as much as I could--which made for lots of running and leaping on his part. There was also Goose's disappearing in people's yards and behind buildings at the Clark Kerr Campus and then, when I called him, his reappearing [sometimes after some time] and sprinting to get his treat. And too, as is the norm for this particular dog, there were the many devourings of various fruits [mostly plums] and other things I cannot mention here. [I must admit, I was not able to entice him away from such deeds with the meager treats I had brought.]

We walked home by way of Tanglewood Road, Garber and then down Russell Street. For this part of our journey, I kept Goose on leash. Almost home, when we turned south on to Piedmont, Goose finally seemed as though he had had his fill of romping about out-of-doors: he was panting, slobbering and walking slowly, a bit behind me, in fact. [Good. Goose is tired out. And me, too.] On the porch at home, I [wire] brushed him to get rid of all the stickers that had attached themselves to his thick [and beautiful] fur. And then I gave him a rub-down rub with a towel to get the trail dust off of him as well. Once inside, it was dinner time for the both of us.

I hope for much the same today when we go out for our walk in the evening.